The world needs more introspection. For every human just discovering that meditation is verifiably amazing for your mind, body, and heart, there are a thousand fretting over how many trinkets the TV says is the only way to demonstrate your love at Christmas. Spoiler alert: the answer is zero.
The business world has a process called five-whys. We pour energy into finding root causes in our jobs, but come home and just sit in front of the TV.
Why do we not approach our whole lives with such rigor? Enlightenment is a process. It is the method we approach the unknowns in our life, and how we either answer them or find peace with our inability to answer them.
The short answer, for me, is to keep digging. The first answer to my questions is the easy answer, the red-herring. Why does this happen to me? Why am I like that? Why does he always do that to me? The real answers are under the layers.
You need not only inspect your pain. You must also ask yourself why you find joy. Why do I love exercise? Why do I miss my favorite teacher? Again, the real answers are under the layers.
Then, when you are exhausted from digging, sit the with thought for a while. Hold it in your lap, and then ask yourself how you will change. That is the magic. You cannot just ask. You must take that knowledge and do.
This is no guarantee that your life will be magical once you ask "why?" a few times. And this is no guarantee that this process will work for you. But try it out. It has worked for me.